Some of you might know from looking at my Facebook page but….. I graduated high school! I finished my last lessons and I’m excited to move on, but….
I didn’t think graduating high school would be so difficult.
I don’t know what to feel or what to think. I thought being a teenager with crazy emotions was hard enough. Having my life change is even harder. I’ve been in school for almost my whole life – fourteen years if you count kindergarten and pre-k. I’ve been doing online school for nine of those years. That was my whole life. School was my routine, my identifier, my life…and now it’s over.
Childhood is over.
Of course, I can choose to be a child as long as I want. My mother and sister have told me countless times that it’s okay to be a kid and act like a kid as long as I want, because there will come a time when I won’t be able to anymore. I will be a kid and watch Duck Dodgers and imagine myself in the Whoniverse in the TARDIS. To imagine myself as Ninjago Ninja or riding on the back of Toothless the dragon. But even if I stay a kid in that way… the truth is, sigh, I still am legally an adult now. I’m still graduating from a school for kids and joining a school for adults.
I will say, having taken a year's worth of college through dual credit is making the transition a little easier. I feel bad for highschoolers who will be shocked into the difficult world of college without having that cushiony transition in between. Having dual credit classes has helped me get a taste of what I am getting into before going into it full swing.
But still it’s hard. No more highschool. No more lessons to complete. My whole life as I have known it is over.
Part of me is excited – more of me each day is getting excited. But part of me is also scared. Part of me is worried and nervous. The other part is telling me everything will be totally okay. I’m entering the unknown.
The hardest thing about this transition is that it has come too fast. I feel I am not ready, yet being in school for so long has been slow and I’m glad to move on. Every day feels like an hour and a year at the same time. Adding teenage hormonal and emotional fluctuations on top of this doesn’t exactly help.
I am going through a big life change right now. And if any of you are graduating highschool, you will know exactly what I mean. “Senioritis” as people like to call it. I’ve had that for months now. If any of you are parents of teens who are going through this, just know to give them grace, love, patience, and don’t get mad at them for being so emotional. It’s normal. Support them through it. Mom’s done a wonderful job at that for me, supporting me along the way, giving me lots of hugs, but nothing will fully ease the difficult roller coaster ride of going through this except just continuing on until it’s over. I will say, having college classes lined up to begin June 2 will help, and to be accepted into the Honor’s College even more so.
But I will forever miss Texas Connections Academy. I will forever miss mom’s weekly logs of my lessons and my planning out the day. But I am excited to learn more in college, excited to set my path straight on the road I need to be on. I have more time to write my books now. More time to brainstorm ideas. I have more time to plan and plot things. I have more time to work. I have more time to figure out what I want to do with my life.
I’m shaping a new identity now. Not the label of a school-girl, but of a young woman growing on my own path, branching away from the school kid title that all high-schoolers once shared and truly discovering my place in the world. It will probably take years to fully figure that out, if ever, but this is a start. I’m praying that God will guide me, and I’m thankful for all of my friends and family, all their support in helping me along this journey as I transition into a new stage of life.
So if you’re going through the same things I am, know you’re not alone. Everything will be okay.
May God’s light shine upon you. Thank you for listening to this growing teen. Your support matters. Have a blessed day!
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